You know, a few weeks ago, I’d been looking all over the internet for one thing, one very important thing. That, my friends, is the online application form for the enrolment into the BA (Education) / BSc (Education) programmes in NTU.

The MOE website indicates that applicants can call the MOE hotline for any queries they may have. I need to find the application form, so I decided to give it a try, and guess what? The automated answering machine on the other end of the line told me to look for the application form online, at the MOE website.

Something’s seriously wrong here, isn’t it?

Anyway, I called up a friend who’s going through the BA (Education) programme in NTU. Here’s what he told me:
- The enrolment programme is conducted by NTU, not NIE.
- I’d have to register at the NTU website, not MOE or NIE.
- Intake is sometime during February.
- Application is only open then.

So, now I find myself jobless, since the school holidays are here and that relief teachers are not needed in the school during this period. Now I’m left with my tuition assignments, which don’t exactly sustain my lifestyle very well. So, I’ve gotta make do with the limited amount of cash I have for the rest of the year.

I’m now looking forward to the start of 2009, when school starts again. I need the pay, I need the experience. It’s budget-living till then, I guess.

You know, I realised there’s something wrong with most of the people around me. They seem to have this mentality whereby it doesn’t matter if a person is capable, as long as he/she succeeds.

A person who does not succeed will always be labelled a ‘loser’. It doesn’t matter if he/she is talented or not, doesn’t matter if he/she tries hard, doesn’t matter if he/she is close to success.

Contrary, a person who succeeds will be held in high regard. It doesn’t matter if he/she took the easy way out, doesn’t matter if he/she had a lucky streak, doesn’t matter if underhand methods were involved.

I can’t stand this play-to-win mindset. It irritates me, it annoys me.

Yes, it pays plenty when you win, but no one ever considers the fact that whenever someone wins, there has to be someone who loses. This rule goes hand-in-hand with the principles of Tao by Lao Tzu.

I won’t go into detail with that, since I’m not a Taoist myself. It’s best if you read up on it yourself or something.

Employers nowadays look out for people with impressive resumes and portfolios. When they see someone with respectable achievements in their resumes or portfolios, they grab them. They’ll never hire a guy without decent experience, and even if they did, the paycheque would spell out a world of a difference in it.

I hate it when I see certain things on recruitment websites. These things include:
- Only degree-holders need apply.
- X years of work experience in related field required.

With these requirements, how on earth would you expect a fresh grad with mediocre academic achievements from a local polytechnic survive in today’s society?

Worse still, what if the fresh grad is male? He would need to go through NS. Within the 2 years in NS, he’ll most probably lose all of his skills due to lack of practice. This is even more so if his field of studies is in Information Technology.

So when he comes out to work, he would’ve no relevant experience, no impressive qualifications, no colourful achievements, nothing; except maybe his ‘O’ Levels.

And yes, I’m one of those people. It pains me to know that I’m not qualified enough in the eyes of employers.

This is just damn sad. But whatever it is, I find that the journey is more than just the destination.

What’s important is that lessons are being learnt, regardless of results. That’s why I’m into the education line now.

To come and think of it, it’s been 3 months since my ORD. I was beginning to miss army life until yesterday, when I received an SMS from MinDef. Looks like SAF still lingers like a smell around me.

Well, that means I’d better stabilise my career quickly, otherwise I won’t get paid when I go for reservist. Now, that brings me to think about my current way of life and my future plans.

I’d been a relief teacher for 2 months now, and believe it or not, I’m seriously considering a career in teaching art. But there are problems to this ambition I’m having now.

First things first, I would require an art diploma, which I’m currently lacking. I do not have any form of portfolio to begin with, let alone a strong portfolio.

Secondly, I wanna get into the Bachelor of Arts (Education) course, which would be better for me as an individual, and I’m not sure if the ministry would put me into such a course.

Thirdly, I’m not sure whether I should be teaching primary school or secondary school. I’ve heard different opinions from various people, ranging from current teaching staff to aspiring teachers-to-be. I find that I need to try out teaching in secondary school, ‘cause all this while I’ve been doing relief teaching in my alma mater’s primary school. I need to know what it’s like to be standing in front of a classroom full of teenagers as compared to a group of kids.

Also, my alma mater is an all-boys catholic school. I need to know what it’s like to teach in a co-ed school, where boys and girls go to school together. I really need to know the difference in the ways of handling boys and girls, naughty and nice.

That leaves me with a heap of problems at hand, due to my inexperience. I can only give answers to those questions simply by guessing, which is really not quite substantial. I need more solid answers to these questions, but problem is how to?

Maybe it’s time for me to get crackin’. Procrastination is not an option now. It’s time to find things out myself.

Having done relief teaching for almost 3 weeks, I’ve felt what it was like being the person standing in front of the class giving lessons. This is something new to me, so it’s gonna take a while to get used to it, especially when the class is rowdy.

Teaching in a primary school brings nostalgia, especially when you used to be a student of that particular primary school. It’s not the building that brings back memories, but the familiar faces of the teachers whom you used to fear or respect. Now, all the fear is gone, they no longer punish you, no longer scold you, no longer give you homework to do. All that is left is mutual respect as individuals. A sign that they’ve truly done their job well… You’ve grown up.

There are of course other things that you’d probably miss hearing or seeing. Things like, “Teacher, he make me!!” or “No, I never!!”

These things, I hear every single day as a relief teacher. And being a relief teacher, the students will take advantage of you. The share of nonsense they bring you is more generous compared to the regular teachers, the class sonic volume increased and the students will move around like balls on a pool table after the breaking shot.

It is through this that I realised how a teacher felt in a rowdy class. You’ll try all sorts of ways to restore order, but your efforts will be in vain. And then frustration kicks in, and then it builds up and becomes fury. Then all of a sudden, you find yourself screaming at the kids, thus restoring order.

It won’t be long till chaos builds up again. And then it becomes a vicious cycle. Well, this is the life of a relief teacher. You don’t know them, they don’t know you.

But amidst the mischief, these kids are quite interesting when you’re assessing their work. You see all sorts of funny things in their work.

For example, there’s a comprehension passage about a detective trying to find clues in a burnt house. The detective stumbles upon cigarette butts which he finds suspicious because nobody smokes in the house. After reading the passage, a question asks, what did the detective find in the house that’s suspicious?

A student writes, “The cigarette butt is robot.”

I’d like to know what’s on his mind when he was answering this question. It’ll be interesting to know.

Overall, I think the schools in the entire country have changed a lot since we’d left. There is no longer any more caning, or corporal punishment of any form. Verbal punishment is not allowed either. Heaven, compared to the things we went through as kids, don’t you think?

You know, I’ve been doing some thinking recently regarding what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. NS has burnt away two years of my life, made me suffer quite a bit and then made me see things I’ve never before seen and do things I’ve never before done.

It has changed my thinking quite a bit, from an ignorant, naïve, and self-centered asshole to something else. I don’t know what that is, it’s up to people to decide now.

Anyway, I used to hear from people things like “ORD is not the end, it’s only the beginning.” “You’ll be stressed out after you ORD.” “You’ll feel that you’ve lost direction in life after you ORD.”

Apparently, they’re right. I’ve lost my direction in life recently. All along, I’ve always wanted to do web design. But now, after two years of not doing anything related to that, I’m sad to say that I’ve lost all of my skills in this field. Guess Uncle Ben (no, not Obi Wan, someone else) was right about it.

He told me that, if I were to get a diploma in IT, I need to constantly update myself in order to stay in the field. If not, after NS, everything would’ve evolved and I would be left behind, which is what’s happening now.

So, that got me thinking. I gotta find a new direction in life. My funds are running dangerously low, my skills are not gonna get me anywhere and I’ve lost my sense of purpose.

Then, suddenly, an answer came to me from up above. You know, I’ve never actually believed in anything religious, but then again, things like this happen. An answer came to me. The man upstairs told me to become a teacher, to nurture the future of mankind.

Funny? I think so too. But nevertheless, I will try, will of God or not.

Hope this works for me. And thanks, whatever that is which gave me that answer I needed.

Are you the kind of person who’s willing to spend money on things that you like? Well, I am. And I hope you are.

I believe in money well spent on things that should be spent on. For example, clothes. Though it’s not really good to splurge and indulge in branded goods, I think it’s necessary to buy good quality clothes that’ll last, comfortable clothes that you’ll like to wear, and also clothes that suit your taste in design. I don’t think it’s wise to save money by buying cheap, low-quality clothes that wear out quickly, uncomfortable clothes that doesn’t allow your sweat to evaporate or makes you sweat excessively, or stupidly designed clothes with imitation logos.

Well, that’s for clothes. But that’s not the main topic for this blog entry. My point is, sometimes, it’s necessary for you to spend money on hobbies. I’m not a fan of those people who ‘enjoy’ saving money, even on things that they really like.

Look, I’m not really well-off. In fact, I really do have financial problems. But nothing stops me from buying comics. Lots of people are advising me against it, but yet I keep on buying every once in a while. Why? Because I believe that it is money well spent.

Most people believe that money makes the world go round. True. But they forget that money is just a means to get things. It’s the things that you want, not the money.

For example, if you’re hungry, you buy food. You spend the money on a sandwich. From the point of view of a ledger book, you ate the money. But in reality, you’re using the money to buy the sandwich, which is what you really want. Understand?

It’s not money that we want. It’s the things that we buy with the money that we want. That’s what makes it important for us to have money.

That’s what makes it important for me to have money too. Looks like I need a job. My savings are running out. So, please donate money to the SAVE-THE-K-MAN funds. Your contributions to go out to the well-being of K-man.

By the way, I’m still in need of clients for my freelancing. So, please do me a favour by keeping a lookout for people who need to engage web designers.

Again, contact me via email, clive.kai@gmail.com.

Ever felt as though your world is filled with people who always disagree with you? Well, I do. It’s starting to get on my nerves recently.

I get people who criticise the things that I do, the things that I say and even the things that I like. On top of that, most of these people have got no idea of what goes on in the things which they criticise me for. They don’t understand the things in which I do, don’t appreciate the things in which I like.

I’ll quote an example.

I like to read Marvel comics. Something shallow-minded-manga-lovers despise. True, I do not appreciate manga generally. But I don’t make fun of manga and its readers. But there are some people who do. That, I personally cannot stand.

They say that Marvel comics are a waste of money and time. They would never spend a single second reading something like that, much less a single penny. They think it’s unrealistic, mindless and the artwork suck. They also said something about it being ridiculously expensive.

I personally, disagree.

Let’s compare Marvel comics, or even US comics, generally, with manga.

First of all, manga-lovers say that US comics are unrealistic.

I would say that manga-lovers say that because they think the superheroes’ powers and costumes are unrealistic. Personally, I think the world these superheroes are being put in is very similar to our own. These superheroes have their own problems, both costumed and non-costumed. These problems that they have add to the realism of US comics. In addition, heroes actually die in US comics. Compare that to Japanese manga. The protagonist somehow always wins over the antagonist, no matter how powerful the antagonist is. Even though sometimes the protagonist has problems in his/her life, it will never be political, nor will it ever impact the society he/she lives in. To make things worse, the world in which manga depicts is usually a perfect world, with everyone working towards the same goal and a minority working against it. That usually is how the protagonist and antagonist would come about.

Secondly, manga-lovers say that US comics are mindless.

I think what they’re trying to say is US comics have no objective in their stories. I fully disagree. The protagonists in general US comics usually have their own backgrounds and enemies in their past. These enemies in turn come back and threaten them with their families, their friends, their livelihoods. This gives the protagonists the reason to fight back and restore peace. The protagonist mostly gets pushed to desperation. He/she usually gets out of harsh situations by outsmarting his/her adversary, calling for help, or very seldom, a miracle. Sometimes, the protagonist would not even save the day at all. Things would change in the story as the antagonist wins. Also, everything the protagonist and antagonist do affects the story’s society and its media. Compare that to Japanese manga. The protagonist always gets pushed to desperation, and then most likely by some miracle, he/she would save the day. Nothing political is ever brought into the picture.

Thirdly, manga-lovers say that the artwork in US comics is ugly.

I don’t think so. By the word ‘ugly’, I think they mean that the artwork doesn’t appeal to them, which I think is quite reasonable. But in my perspective, I think the artwork in US comics is excellent, considering the effort in which the comic artists put in and the method in which they use. Most of the panels in US comics are actual paintings shrunk down to fit the pages, much like Hong Kong comics. This makes the artwork seem really detailed and realistic. Compare that to Japanese manga, which essentially is just sketching. Not to say that it’s not good, just that the amount of effort manga artists put in compared to US comic artists is just seems a world of a difference.

Fourthly, manga-lovers say that US comics are not worth the money.

Well, US comics are in fact, potential collectors’ items. Also, note the price. The standard price for US comics in Singapore is SGD 5.50 per issue. Compare that to the SGD 4.50 which manga fans pay per issue and I think I’ve got it more worthwhile buying US comics.

But, most of all, it boils down to one thing. It’s personal preference. It’s not in my power to change other’s preference.

I just want people to respect my preferences, try to see things in my perspective, and respect my views on things. Is that a lot to ask for?

Like I’d say to these people, “Don’t know, don’t anyhow say.”

2 days after collecting my pink IC, I still haven't registered the fact that I ORDed. I'm still asking myself questions like, "Am I supposed to book in today?", "Are we going outfield next week?", "When's my next medical duty?", "Do I need to cut my hair?", "How many days left till ORD?", "Do we get to book out early on friday?", etc..

I need to realign myself to the civilian life laid out in front of me. I need to adjust my temper and my habits. I need to stop asking myself those questions. Most of all, I need to plan ahead. I need to ask myself, "What the F*** to do next?"

Right. What to do. I'm lost here.

Anyway, I'm currently refreshing my web designing skills, namely HTML and Photoshop. It's a long journey for me, who just spent 2 years doing something else. It's also high time for me to start learning new things, things like FlashMX and PHP. In time to come, I'll start to learn 3Dmax, DirectX and also refresh myself on OpenGL.

Sounds like a lot, eh?

Not if I have a stable income doing freelance web design.

So, help me out. If you find anyone who needs a website done, call me up. Or you can Email me at clive.kai@gmail.com.